Beset

I have lived most of my life thinking I just am what I am. That's a weird statement. Let me try to explain. I think of myself as a decent person. Not perfect, but you know, pretty good. I've always considered myself to have a strong moral compass, a deep sense of right and wrong. In general, I make pretty good decisions (obviously we can't win 'em all). And one of my greatest strengths, in my own opinion, has always been resilience. I might go down, but I don't stay there.

I always thought these things were just a part of who I am, inherently. The way I actually used to think of it was that I was this way "all by myself." I did not attribute any of my qualities (good or bad) to God or anyone else. Not even myself, really. I was just born this way.

And that may be partially true. I now know that everyone is born with their own unique personality and temperament. (There are, of course, innumerable ways experiences and circumstances can affect us as we grow, but that's a whole other thing.) It's there from the beginning: we're whole people as soon as we're born.

But I also now know that I have a creator, and I wasn't just born this way, but I was made this way.

So it was never me, it was God. I was never anything "all by myself." God was always with me, even when I didn't know it, or couldn't see it, or chose not to believe it.

Thou hast beset me behind and before. The "archaic" definition of beset is "be covered with." He covered me behind (in the past) and before (in front of = the future). I was and am covered with and by God.

"O Lord, thou hast searched me, and known me.

Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.

Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.

For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O Lord, thou knowest it altogether.

Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me." - Psalm 139:1-5

"Give thanks: for his mercy endureth forever!" - Psalm 136 (Exclamation point mine. It needed to be said with feeling!)

"For none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself.

For whether we live, we live unto the Lord; and whether we die, we die unto the Lord: whether we live therefore, or die, we are the Lord's." -Romans 14:7-8